This has been one hell of a week. One week ago today, I had a brother. Today I don’t.

My brother Irwin died last Sunday, just after midnight. He was only 77 years old. He hadn’t been sick, except for during this past month, since the day of his 77^th birthday. Then all of a sudden, three of his four heart valves failed, and of course, subsequently his kidney and liver failed too. I can’t understand it. He’d been under a cardiologist’s care since his valve replacement 10 years ago. Why did they not know that 2 more valves were failing, and that the replaced valve was going bad, as well? Why did they diagnose pneumonia and not discover the true condition until it was too late to do anything? I simply can’t understand how or why this all happened. All I know is that my dear brother, Irwin, who I’ve counted on throughout my entire life, is gone.

Never again will we go out for lunch together, or celebrate a holiday together, or celebrate a family event. Never again will I call him to ask why my computer is acting up, and what should I do to fix it. Never again…. Those are hard words. Very, very hard.

Irwin was the best of the best. He was thoughtful and kind, caring and compassionate. He had a great sense of humor He was a mensch in every sense of the word. No one ever had a negative word to say against him. What could anyone say?

He was a devoted son and took after our father, of blessed memory, in many ways. He was a devoted husband of 53 years and a loving father to his son and daughter. He was a wonderful uncle to my children and grandchildren. Everyone loved him.

We are now in the season of the High Holidays, the Days of Awe, a time for reflection and contemplation and atonement. It’s the time when G-d reviews us and decides who will be written in His Book of Life for the coming year. Apparently, G-d decided a year ago that Irwin wasn’t going to be written in to finish out the year. Why not? It’s so completely unfair. G-d doesn’t need him more than we do. It’s impossible.

So now we have to pray and atone and hope that we are to be written into the Book of Life for 5787. But my brother Irwin’s page will not be written. G-d’s book is closed.